TWO MEN TALKING: MY INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN BARLOW, HOST OF ‘THE LONER SHOW’

By Robert Dayton

The Loner Show is a very special live comedy show that features curious characters. It happens monthly as part of Laff Sabbath in the backroom of The Rivoli (332 Queen Street West) in Toronto. However, it will soon exist no longer! The 65th and final Loner Show happens Sunday, December 19th at 9 PM. I recently chatted with the creator and host Brian Barlow at a ‘location’ about the numerous characters that he’s come up with for the show and why the show is being retired…

RD: You started doing the Loner Show 65 months ago?

BB: Six years ago.

Robert Dayton: So you came up with the mandate of one person onstage performing as a character?

Brian Barlow: Yeah, it was just supposed to be a one-off show. I booked a couple acts and I hosted the first show as a teacher, which was based on my Dad because my Dad is a teacher. At that time my Dad was doing some GED testing to some mechanics. He wanted me to come in and assist him. I’d never seen my Dad teach before. He was great. He did some hilarious things that no one else would think were hilarious. He was very animated up there like I’d never seen him before. Two months later I did the show as a character like that. My first character handed out tests to everyone that they’d written- but no one had written tests. I’d explain to them how they didn’t do well on the tests. That’s what started it all. I’d created it because I was doing a lot of sketch at the time with Chris Locke, we were a group called The Gurg, we still perform every once in a while. Since we started there’s now a character in the Harry Potter movies called The Gurg, we think they stole it from us. We’d do sketch a lot. I’d do the occasional stand-up show but I’m never myself onstage. I can’t go up there and tell jokes just as myself. I need some sort of angle on it. I could be The President’s son and tell jokes. I couldn’t be Brian doing jokes.

RD: “Let me tell you about Brian’s day.” It could be a regular series. Brian’s day. You’re not really a- let me correct myself- I was going to say that you are not a one-liner guy, but you do come up with a lot of zingers.

BB: I have one character called Dum Grandpa. I’d sit with my back to the audience with two microphones, one in front of me and one behind me. In the back mic I’d say, “Dum Grandpa on sushi.” Then I’d turn around and I’d talk like an old man. “Raw fish? Raw deal!” Then I’d turn around again. “Dum Grandpa on rap music.” “People talk fast when they lie.” It was a more playful way of doing it-

RD: -under a more conceptual umbrella. Tell me more about the first show.

BB: I booked the show at The Oasis. There was trouble getting acts, just explaining to them that it was just them doing anything funny but stand-up.

RD: Is this how things were in Toronto six years ago? That people couldn’t wrap their heads around character work?

BB: It was tough. Even to this day a lot of acts cancel at the last minute because it is something that a lot of people don’t feel comfortable doing.

RD: Really? Why do you think that is?

BB: Most of the people who do the show are stand-ups, so they are used to being themselves. Being a character can be a lot tougher. It’s the opposite for me. People may think it’s acting which isn’t the case. I always think the show is way easier because you can go up there and act totally ridiculous.

RD: You’ve done 64 of these. You can create a totally developed character that could involve certain elements of acting. But, being a recent convert to your show, I’ve noticed that some of your characters are just so absurd.

BB: I don’t think many of my characters are realistic at all. And most of the time I don’t try to change my voice too much.

RD: Which could lend it a sense of naturalism.

BB: But there’s nothing natural about it though, too, because I’m wearing a shitty wig, dum glasses, and I’m saying I’m Slash’s kid.

RD: Now with the first show you said some people couldn’t do the challenge.

BB: Some people did the show but they were just nervous about it but after they did the first one they were like, “Okay, I got it! This show makes sense!” Then I just kept booking it.

RD: Did you find the characters got more absurd as you went along? You were doing such characters as HMV Manager/sex addict.

BB: Yeah. He could really exist though.

RD: There was one character you did who had a hand for a face. He might not exist.

BB: Hand Face. He probably doesn’t exist at all, that guy. There was Mr. Weird. He owned Sony. One day he woke up and said, “You know what? I’m so rich and everything and I spend all of my time trying to make money. When I was young I used to be weird. Now that I’ve gone through a divorce and everything I’m just going

to concentrate on being weird.” He’s trying to raise awareness for being weird. Later on his son calls him and has a heart-to-heart about how he doesn’t want him to be weird anymore.

RD: You’re hosting, so you do these characters in-between other people’s acts. Do you find it easier to do it that way?

BB: I like it that way because you can give snippets of the character. Also I’ll do a question and answer period for the character.

RD: What other characters have you come up with? There’s sixty-four of them, right?

BB: I did Poppa Proppa, Canada’s oldest prop comic, twice. He’s my favourite character. He’s 107 years…young! He loves prop jokes, most of his jokes are all old jokes, “Where’s The Beef?” type jokes.

RD: I can’t think of anything more horrible than a prop comic, but a character like that, because he’s so aged, you must develop a certain love for him.

BB: He’s really sweet and positive.

RD: Anyone else you’ve done multiple times?

BB: Not really. I’ve done The Dick Mime for different shows.

RD: He’s never hosted The Loner Show.

BB: He did. That’s where I came up with him.

RD: Wouldn’t it be tough to host as a mime?

BB: I had a lot of signs. One side (of the sign) explained the next act and the other side was the routine I was going to be doing.

RD: And it all veered towards the dick.

BB: It was all miming of dicks. I was Anne Geddes once as well.

RD: Who’s Anne Geddes?

BB: She’s a baby photographer, she does famous pictures of babies dressed as bumblebees and dandelions and stuff. I haven’t done that many women, maybe two women. She hates kids!

RD: Who was the other woman?

BB: She owned a company called Precious Creations. You know how maybe when you were a kid you’d give someone a coupon for a free backrub or something? She makes them professionally. She’d charge fifty dollars for a vacuuming coupon. I think I kept a beard for that as well. A very hairy woman. That one had the worst attendance. There was fifteen people at the show. I think that’s why I hadn’t done that many women after that. I think that was the eighth show.

RD: Did people know in advance that she was hosting the show?

BB: No no, people just show up, it was just by fluke, I’m sure no one was like, “Don’t come! It’s a fake chick hosting!”

I hosted one as The Egg Man. It was an anniversary show so, I think there was 60 people on the bill and I made 50 short films that were ten seconds each, all about different ways you can crack eggs. After the fourth one, one of the acts accidentally broke the DVD player so, I had to do live stuff .

RD: You had to run to the store to get some eggs?

BB: I think so. One of the acts drove home to get their DVD player. I ended up cutting my hands because I ended up squeezing some eggs. I hosted as Blind Brad Pitt one time and his son Maddox was pulling pranks on him. For that show, too, Robin Williams came by and performed for forty minutes.

RD: The real Robin Williams. How did he respond to Blind Brad Pitt?

BB: He talked about it for a bit. He went along with it.

(Brian pulls out a sheet listing most of his characters)

RD (looking at sheet): A bisexual garbage man?

BB: His name was Truck. That’s one of my favourite ones.

RD: Did he get a lot of action?

BB: He was extremely clean. He’s only been good at two things his whole life: throwing things out and having sex with guys and girls.

RD: (looking at list) What about the character of The Shape Shifter? How did he shift shapes?

BB: A lot of times I’d just stay backstage and say that I’ve shifted into the shape of a chair onstage. “I’m somewhere in the audience right now. Try to find me.”

RD: What’s the Creator of Trinity-Bellwoods Diet all about?

BB: That diet is that you can only eat food found in Trinity-Bellwoods Park. You can have fast food in Trinity-Bellwoods, but you can’t leave the park for a month. You can have food brought to you but you can’t have it handed to you. If a friend brought you McDonald’s and then they dropped it then, you can pick it up because then it’s technically found in Trinity-Bellwoods. Most of the food is good food, there’s grass, there’s some gardens there, there’s even ants, there’s nuts. In the Summer there’s The Farmer’s Market there.

RD: If you’re going on that diet then Summer’s probably the best time.

BB: Absolutely. In the Winter, it’s hard core.

RD: You’d probably lose a lot of weight.

BB: Yeah, you would.

RD: December 19th is the last Loner Show! What are you going to do?

BB: I’m going to invite anyone who’s ever done the show to do one minute.

RD: What character will you be hosting as for this?

BB: You know what? I don’t know yet.

RD: It’s the final show!

BB: I was thinking I might host it as Poppa Proppa, he’s my favourite guy. The show I’m going to start in January at the Rivoli as part of Laff Sabbath, I was thinking I would do it as Poppa Proppa.

RD: So no more different characters every month?

BB: It’s going to be more of a variety show.

RD: Why the change?

BB: I just wanted a change, a new format.

RD: It’s been six years.

BB: I was going to stop at 50 shows.

RD: Why 65? Retirement age?

BB: I think so. There’s no way I can last to 100. It’s too expensive. I buy all of my stuff from Value Village.